Some time in the run up to Christmas, my daughter and her family were visiting. For the grandkids, I hook up an intercom system consisting of an old corded Princess handset and an only slightly less old cordless phone with a base station. I use the Princess for calls with cable companies, cell phone companies, and anything institutional, like insurance–no running out of battery waiting on hold for half an hour, and all that. “Your call is important to us”–uh huh. I like the irony of the old tech holding its own.
Anyhows, once my nine-year-old granddaughter set up a play cafe in the media room and brought me the cordless phone so I could call her. She had been singing “Jingle Bells” (since it was holiday time) and so when I got on the line, I called her “Ms. Bells.” “Hello, is that you Ms. Bells? Oh, good! I’d like to order some lunch. What have you got?” And so on. Thus, Lousia became, for a time, Ms. Bells, Ms. Jingle Bells.
A while later, I came on an agreement she had worked up for her hired help–her younger brother. I asked her if I could share it with my blog readers, and she said sure. So here it is:
Signature
I, whoever signs this paper, will do whatever Ms. Bells asks of me. I will also devote myself to her as long as I work for Bells.Songs.com. I work Mon-Fri, but not Sat and Sun. I will do anything for her. Ms. Bells is awsome and sings very well. I like her in every way.
Now, while some would point out what they regard as flaws, I will go the other direction and point out features. The promise to do whatever is asked is right there at the start–no beating around about purposes or declarations of intent. Bells asks, I do. Very tart. That’s followed up with an attestation of devotion. Such attestations are not often found in work agreements, and in its way it is brilliant. Maybe devotion would be a good back up to promises in such arrangements. Maybe not only attesting but actually choosing to be devoted would make a good start. Of course, here the devotion is to Ms. Bells. But then it’s personal. And one needs to be clear what is expected when dealing with a younger brother.
The remainder of the arrangement sets out the work schedule and then, to remove any doubt, doubles down on the promise made at the outset, and adds a declaration regarding Ms. Bells’s singing ability, and a representation the follows from devotion though is not quite the same thing–one can be devoted and not like all aspects of the devoted, and one can not be devoted but like everything. Here, devotion and liking in “every way” are expected, even contracted for. Or, put another way, only those for which the attestations are true can honestly sign the paper. No devotion, no feeling that Ms. Bells is awesome, no liking her in every way–well, any of that going sideways breaks the deal.
There it is. Work arrangements based on devotion, awesomeness, and liking in every way. As far as features go, a good start.
